there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
