i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
