i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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