My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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