I just made out with a guy for $7.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We had sex on a dog bed..
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
