I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
we should paint friendship bongs
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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