It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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