I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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