And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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