just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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