you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize