ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Is Oprah even human
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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