omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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