we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Are we still banned from the library?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
