Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize