He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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