I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
this boner is exhausting
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
