Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
