If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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