And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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