It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
