It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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