Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
