quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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