I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
