She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize