would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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