At least make sure they are 18
Why
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
