Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
