You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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