i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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