Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just invented taco cereal.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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