i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
