His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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