my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
