So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
