that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize