Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
