never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
