he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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