im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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