I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This is the high leading the old right now
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
