I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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