that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
