Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she told me i tasted like america
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
