The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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