New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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