I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
