I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
