Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
