If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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