ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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