i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
