You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize