Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
