Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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