where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
