OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
