My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize