Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
